The Gift of Your Own Company: Solitude as a Mental Wellness Practice

Solitude Is Not What You Think It Is

When most people hear the word solitude, they picture something uncomfortable—an empty apartment, a Friday night alone, the particular ache of feeling disconnected. But that image conflates two very different experiences: loneliness and solitude. And the distinction between them matters enormously for mental health.

Loneliness is a state of perceived disconnection—the painful sense that you want more meaningful social contact than you currently have. Solitude, by contrast, is a chosen condition. It is time spent in your own company, intentionally and without the constant noise of external demands. Psychologist Ester Buchholz, who spent much of her career studying the human need for aloneness, argued that solitude is not the absence of connection but a complement to it—as essential to psychological health as intimacy itself.

In a hyperconnected world where the average American checks their smartphone over 140 times per day, genuinely uninterrupted time with oneself has become increasingly rare. And increasingly valuable.

The Research Case for Being Alone

The scientific literature on solitude has grown considerably over the past two decades, and its findings challenge some deeply held cultural assumptions. A 2017 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who were able to find meaning in solitude—rather than merely enduring it—demonstrated higher levels of emotional regulation and lower rates of anxiety. The key variable was not the amount of time spent alone, but the quality of the relationship the individual had with that aloneness.

Additionally, research from the University of Rochester suggests that adolescents and adults who voluntarily spent time alone—as opposed to those who were isolated by circumstance—reported greater creativity, improved mood following solitary activities, and a stronger sense of personal identity. The brain, it turns out, benefits from the opportunity to process experience without constant external input.

This processing function is not trivial. During periods of quiet solitude, the brain's default mode network—a set of interconnected regions associated with self-referential thought, memory consolidation, and future planning—becomes more active. This is the neural architecture of introspection. Without regular access to it, we risk losing touch with our own inner life.

Alaska as a Context for Solitude

For those living in Alaska, the landscape itself offers an invitation toward a particular kind of solitude that is difficult to replicate elsewhere in the United States. Whether it is a solo hike through boreal forest, an early morning on a lake before the world has stirred, or simply sitting with the vast, unhurried quiet that the wilderness provides, the Alaskan environment has a way of creating natural pauses in the relentless pace of modern life.

This is not merely poetic. Research on nature-based solitude suggests that time spent alone in natural environments produces measurably different outcomes than solitude experienced in urban or indoor settings. A study from the University of Michigan found that walks in natural settings reduced rumination—the repetitive, self-critical thinking associated with depression and anxiety—more significantly than walks in urban environments. Nature does not just provide beauty; it provides a particular quality of quiet that supports psychological restoration.

For many Alaskans, this connection to the natural world is already part of daily life. What whole-person wellness asks is that we become more intentional about it—that we treat time in nature not merely as recreation but as a genuine practice of mental and emotional care.

Meaningful Pursuits: What You Do Alone Matters

Not all solitude is created equal. Scrolling a social media feed in an empty room is technically being alone, but it does not carry the same restorative benefits as genuinely solitary engagement. The distinction lies in what researchers call absorption—the degree to which an activity draws your full attention and engages your sense of self.

Activities that tend to support the mental health benefits of solitude share a few common characteristics: they are intrinsically motivated (you are doing them because they matter to you, not to perform for others), they involve some degree of skill or craft, and they allow for a kind of quiet self-expression.

Journaling is among the most studied of these pursuits. Expressive writing, as examined extensively by psychologist James Pennebaker, has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, improve immune function, and help individuals process difficult experiences. A journal does not require an audience. That is precisely its power.

Hiking and walking combine the restorative qualities of nature with the rhythmic, meditative quality of physical movement. Many individuals find that their most clarifying thoughts arrive not at a desk but on a trail.

Creative practices—drawing, painting, writing, playing music—engage the brain in ways that are simultaneously absorbing and self-revelatory. They create a record of an interior life that might otherwise go unexamined.

Contemplative practices such as meditation or simply sitting in stillness build the capacity to be with oneself without distraction—a skill that has measurable effects on emotional regulation and stress response.

Solitude for Different Personalities and Life Circumstances

It is worth acknowledging that the experience of solitude is not uniform. Introverts may find alone time naturally restorative, while extroverts may need to be more intentional about the kind of solitary activity they choose in order to receive its benefits. Neither orientation is superior; both can benefit from thoughtful engagement with solitude.

Life circumstances also shape the relationship with aloneness. Parents of young children, caregivers, and individuals in demanding social or professional roles may find that solitude feels like a luxury they cannot afford. Yet these are often the individuals who need it most. Even brief, intentional periods of solitude—ten minutes of quiet in the morning before the household wakes, a short solo walk at lunch—can offer meaningful restoration when longer periods are not available.

For individuals who have experienced trauma, particularly trauma involving abandonment or isolation, solitude may initially feel unsafe rather than restorative. Working with a therapist to build a positive relationship with aloneness can be a valuable part of the healing process.

Learning to Be Good Company for Yourself

At its deepest level, the practice of solitude is about cultivating a relationship with yourself—one that is characterized by curiosity rather than judgment, presence rather than avoidance. In a culture that rarely encourages us to simply sit with who we are, this can feel unfamiliar at first.

But like any meaningful practice, it becomes more comfortable with repetition. And what it offers in return—greater self-awareness, improved emotional regulation, a stronger sense of personal identity—is precisely the kind of inner foundation that makes all of our relationships and responsibilities more sustainable.

At Perspective Practice AK, we believe that whole-person wellness includes the whole of who you are when no one else is watching. Learning to inhabit that space with ease and even pleasure is not a small thing. It may be one of the most important investments you can make in your long-term mental health.